What Do You Really Want?

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What Do You Really Want?
Image Copyright: Parthiban Amarasigamani

Did you ever sit down to ponder the question of what you really want in life? It is the most important question you will ever ask yourself, because it will define the outcome of your entire life. So, it is well worth, spending several hours, a few days, a week… and yes, even an entire month figuring out what you really want in life.

If you are like most people, you may think you want something like: A great professional career, lots of money, a big house, your dream partner, maybe becoming famous, getting an academic title, being someone “important”…

But, that’s not what you really want. All those things are illusions and if you chase any of those illusions without doing what you really want, your life will be miserable and it will be a huge failure – no matter how much money you make, no matter how famous you may become…

So, what do you really want?

No, it is much simpler. What you really want is to feel great – every day of your life. You don’t want to have that single big moment 5, 10 or 20 years from when you achieve your big dream.

You want to feel great today, tomorrow and the day after… Every day, you want your life to be filled with love, passion, joy and excitement.

That’s why it’s called life – a continuous experience of joy, passion and excitement, a continuous stream of great feelings. Otherwise, it would be called something like struggling along with 3-5 great moments along the line.

Why do you want that professional career, the money, the beautiful house…? Because you believe that once you get those things, you will feel really great. So, it’s not about the “thing” itself, it’s all about this magnificent rush of wonderful emotions.

But, why spending years suffering and struggling and doing something you don’t particularly like just to get this one glorious moment somewhere down the distant future? You can have wonderful, magnificent moments today and even more of them tomorrow and the day after…

It is all about the process and not at all about the “things”, the final achievements. If the process is aligned with your passion and excitement, with who you really are, the achievements come naturally and easily without the need for any struggle and real effort.

So, do something you absolutely love, something that really excites you. Imagine, doing what you think excites you – how does it feel? Imagine, doing it for 3, 5, 10 years, finding new creative approaches, developing it into mastery… – does it still feel exciting? Don’t think about possible achievements, focus only on the process itself – is this enough to keep you passionate and excited?

Just picture the entire process…

You do something you absolutely love. And because you love it so much, this activity fills you with joy, excitement and other great feelings – day in and day out.

Of course, at this stage, there won’t be any news-breaking achievements, but you are already living your dreams. Every single day of your life is filled with joy, fun, passion, excitement… You are feeling simply great, every moment of your life – what bigger success could anyone achieve, what else could anyone desire?

Now, you just keep on doing what you love most and quite naturally you will be getting better and better at it. You will develop your passion into mastery and you will create an art out of it – simply by doing what you love most and without any need to struggle, push, force and fight.

And of course, once you reach that level of mastery, other people will become aware of what you are doing and they will tell their friends and it may make the news, you may even become famous, make a lot of money, buy that beautiful house, meet your dream partner at one of those galas you are invited to…

If any or all of those things happen, it is nice and wonderful, but it is not really that important, because at this stage you already have everything you could ever desire – days filled with passion, joy, fun, excitement, ecstasy…

Life is about joy, passion, excitement…

…and you can have it right now, simply by doing what you love most, simply by being and doing what corresponds with your true natural self.

Don’t postpone your life for the pursuit of shiny “things and achievements” in the distant future. Even if you achieve your “dreams” a few years from now, you will only get short-lived excitement that will fade away within a few weeks and afterwards you will feel exactly the same as you feel right now.

The only way to find perpetual joy, happiness, fun, excitement… is by being your Self and by doing what you love most. Life is a process and it is all about this process that unfolds in the eternal now.

That’s the only way to live life fully, everything else is merely existing and struggling along.

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  1. theash  March 12, 2014

    Dear Robert
    I’m going through a really tough time, I’ve lost my will to live…
    Your posts help me to get up from my bed, stop whining
    and search for the happines within myself.
    Thank you a lot and God bless you!

    The ASH

    • Robert Spadinger  March 12, 2014

      Hi Ash,

      The deeper you go down into darkness, the further and the faster you will shoot into the light when you reach your turning point. Also, some people carry a heavier burden than others, but it’s because they can handle it and because they are stronger than anyone else.

      And remember, the potential for joy, happiness, for feeling absolutely great is already within you and you can access it right now. Right now, when you close your close your eyes, when you calm your mind, when you refuse to follow and to listen to those nagging thoughts in your mind, when you simply let go, when you allow yourself to flow and to be simply you… you will have an immediate sensation and feeling of joy.

      From there you just keep on going and your joy will keep on growing every day. There isn’t really much you need to do in order to get in touch with your inner joy – it’s not a matter of technique, strategy, doing the right thing… it is much more about letting go and completely allowing your Self.

      Allowing your Self, being at ease with your Self and fully surrendering to your Self (the real, true, unique You)… means nothing else, but fully loving yourself.

      Your true self is love, joy, happiness… but you can only “meet” and experience the true You when you move into a harmonious state and allow the vibration of the real you. And you do this by fully allowing this very moment – you move away from judging, resisting, hating… your current situation and yourself.

      By doing so, you naturally flow back into a state of harmony and that’s the only place where you can meet the real you, the divine you.

      Take care and I wish you all the best


  2. Elle  March 13, 2014

    Wise words Robert. Underlying every desire is the desire to be happy, to feel good, to thrive. I’ve always found gratitude to be a wonderful way to experience happiness every day. Life offers so much and we miss most of it because we’re hypnotised by current events and experiences. If we would stop being outer distracted for even a small part of the day and be inner directed instead we could all change our world. 🙂

  3. Robert Spadinger  March 18, 2014

    Thank you so much for your wonderful comment Elle and I absolutely agree, if we all would be just a little bit more focused inward, we could easily change our world.

  4. Morobi  March 20, 2014

    well written article. thought captivating indeed. On the subject of doing/finding what you truly love, how does one accomplish the mission of finding what he/she really loves?i mean there might be somethings somebody is good at. but knowing that i love doing this particular thing can create limitless opportunities for an individual.

    • Robert Spadinger  March 23, 2014

      One way would be to simply try out different things and if there is something you are really passionate about, something that excites you… then you very well may have found something that’s “right” for you.

      Another possibility would be to go to a bookshop or to take a look at those thousands of different subjects and topics on a site like Amazon – if you feel some excitement or passion towards a specific topic it is probably worthwhile to look a bit deeper.