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A Simple Way To Get Rid Of Your Worries, Doubts And Fears And To Replace Them With Joy And Happiness

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A Simple Way To Get Rid Of Your Worries, Doubts And Fears And To Replace Them With Joy And Happiness
Image Copyright: Moyan Brenn

 
It seems like, worry, doubt and fear is a very widespread “illness” in our society. Almost everyone seems to worry that this and that may happen. A lot of people are worried about their future, their financial situation, that their husband or wife may leave them, that they may get ill, have a terrible accident… and there are surely hundreds of other worries and fears.

Are you one of them? Do you worry too much as well?

Living in constant worry, doubt and fear makes your life miserable and it takes away all your joy, fun and happiness.

What for? Most of the terrible things you imagine and you are afraid of actually never happen anyway. Just look back at the last 10 years of your life and analyze all those worries and fears that crossed your mind and caused you sleepless nights.

How much of it did actually come true? Probably very little. On the other hand, things may have happened you didn’t even imagine or think about.

So, why spending weeks, months and even years worrying about something that probably never happens? It just doesn’t make any sense to torture yourself because of something that only exists in your mind and has nothing to do with your current reality.

Let’s say, because of certain events and circumstances your logic tells you “things don’t look good…” and you start worrying. Here is what happens: 

  • Because of your worries and fears, you will start feeling worse and worse.
  • Whenever there is an event you would normally enjoy, those nagging fears will take away most of the joy.
  • Staying for a long time in the emotion of worry and fear will not only make you tired, but it will also make you more prone for illness.
  • As within, so without. If you spend most of your time in worry and fear, you will also create unpleasant events and circumstances in your life that correspond with the energy of fear. In other words, there is a good chance that you will actually manifest what you are so afraid of – just because you constantly think and worry about it.

In other words, there is absolutely nothing good that can come from spending only even 1 second in worry, doubt or fear.

If I could see at least 1 tiny advantage you could get out of worrying, I would say: “Yes, every now and then worry for a few minutes, because it is good for…” But, there is absolutely nothing positive about those negative emotions and that’s why I suggest you simply banish worry, doubt and fear from your life.

That’s right, you no longer need those emotions, you are done with them, so, just let go of them.

But, bad things happen to people every day…

Of course, unpleasant things happen to all of us. BUT,  to constantly worry about what could happen won’t prevent unpleasant things from happening. Quite the contrary, that’s actually a very efficient way to attract more unpleasant things into your life.

Yes, unpleasant things happen. But when they happen, we simply deal with them, we find a solution and we grow through them. We become bigger, wiser, better…

And believe me, tackling those challenging situations is far easier from a positive mindset than from a mindset that’s entrenched in worry, doubt and fear.

Also, you may have already realized that being in the middle of a storm and dealing with a challenging situation actually feels better than the state of dense fear that only exists in your imagination and is created out of the constant worry that something bad MIGHT happen sometime in the future.

So, I think we can agree that spending even a minute in doubt and fear won’t add anything positive to your life.

But, the big question is how can you get rid of your worries and fears?

You say, those emotions just overtake your life and there isn’t much you can do about it. That’s wrong, because those worries and fears are simply the result of unhealthy thoughts and beliefs you engaged in over and over again – thousands of times.

The exact same way you created those fears, you can also get rid of them and replace them with much better feeling emotions. All you need to do is to change those core beliefs that lead to negative thoughts, which in turn create your worries and fears.

You may smile about the child who is afraid of the green monster in the closet, but most of the worries and fears of us adults are not any more real.

Just think about some of your fears – right now, they are only a product of your imagination. Once something unpleasant happens, you are no longer afraid of it, because it already happened and you have to deal with it. But then you may be afraid of what could happen next. And again, at that stage, “what could happen next” will only exist in your imagination.

Back to our anti-fear solution…

  • Yes, figure out what are your negative core beliefs that lead to fearful thoughts and emotions. Then, look at them, analyze them, turn them around… and realize that they have no validity and let them go.
  • Become aware of your negative thoughts that cause those nasty, fearful emotions. Whenever you catch yourself indulging in those kinds of thoughts, just say stop and simply refuse to think any more of those thoughts that don’t do you any good.

The process is simple, but it will take some time and practice to establish the habit of “dropping unbeneficial thoughts” and “changing the topic” towards something more positive.

I always recommend to keep a daily diary where you write down how many bad thoughts you caught and threw out of the window, how long it took you to become aware of a train of negative thoughts, how easy or difficult it was to change the topic… and anything else that seems interesting and helpful to you.

Your current way of thinking and being unconscious about your thoughts is a habit you probably built over several decades. This has become a very strong habit and it won’t be possible to break it in only a few days and replace it with a completely new one. So, please be patient.

Every day, make a conscious effort to break those old patterns and don’t judge your immediate results. Give it at least 2 months – that’s not very long – and you will have formed a tremendously powerful and positive way to control and consciously direct your thoughts, which will allow you to get rid of your worries and fears for good.


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13  Comments

  1. Sebastian  December 23, 2013

    “Just look back at the last 10 years of your life and analyze all those worries and fears that crossed your mind and caused you sleepless nights.”

    THIS. IS. SO. TRUE.

    Fear is just an invention of the mind. It’s all fake.
    Sebastian recently posted…Thank You Grandpa

    (reply)
    • Robert Spadinger  December 23, 2013

      Hi Sebastian – glad to hear you like the post. Take care & all the best.

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      • Niki  December 24, 2014

        Hi Robert,
        Marry Christmas!

        I had developed strong PMA(positive mental attitude) via reading PMA books, watching inspirational movies. resarching inspirational wiki etc even. But after become mother of two kids now i have cotineous fear for my love ones. Your artical is very helpful for me

        thanks

        Niki

        (reply)
        • Robert Spadinger  January 3, 2015

          Hi Niki – sorry for the late reply, I don’t know why, but WordPress moved your comment into the spam folder. I’m very glad to hear that my article helped you and I wish you happy, healthy and successful New Year 2015.

          Regarding your fear for your loved ones: Please know that everything in life happens for a valid reason. Nothing in life happens just out of the blue, because of bad luck or good luck… there is a deeper intelligence and order that guides us towards specific experiences that allow us to grow and to learn what we came here for to learn – even if some of those experiences may be very challenging.

          Don’t try to control everything in your life and in the life of your loved ones, because you can’t – it will simply drive you mad and make you miserable. Trust in life, be loving, joyful, positive, happy… and know that whatever may happen, will happen for a valid reason and that it carries an important message for you.

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    • Firdaus  November 23, 2015

      Yeah, that sentence was all it took to make my blood pressure normal….usually i am always worried about something that does not even exist….
      Thanks Robert

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  2. sherry  October 29, 2014

    I agree!We should face massive stuff in our life,when we face a challenge or some emergency situation.We will feel fear and lose our confidence to solve it.It’s totally negative when your mind is not strong enough.So enjoy our life is a effective way to get rid of the worries and fears. so i encourage people living a romantic life to deal with the pressure.
    sherry recently posted…How to cure your depression by romantic your life?

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  3. Rafael Romasanta  December 15, 2014

    Yes, this does help you get over many fears. However, this article is biased in the fact that it assumes that most fears are about things that will not happen. I will describe 3 of many fears, however, involving things which will happen. I hope that you will address and give advice on this issue in future revisions or future articles.
    The first, and most obvious, is the fear of death. I cannot deny the validity of the “core belief” of dying because i will eventually die. The second is the fear of growing old. That I will grow old is a valid “core belief” because every single second I grow older. The third is the fear of thunder. That thunder happens is a valid “core belief” because I will experience thunder.
    I did see hints of advice on how to deal with these problems in your article, such as the fact that it is easier to experience a feared event than it is to simply fear it in advance. However, you do not directly address the issue of feared events that will actually happen. For a revision of this article, or for a future article, I would suggest that you give advice on how to deal with this issue. In dealing with this issue, you will more effectively help people overcome their fears.

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  4. Diana  February 22, 2015

    I have lots of questions can you help?

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  5. bzzay  March 10, 2015

    This article is very inspirational…
    It makes me confident enough to get rid of bad thaughts which is nothing but our negative thaughts….!!!
    I just fell relex by reading this and gonna to follow.. thanks

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  6. MDM  April 20, 2015

    I currently have a nagging fear that I’m going to ruin an upcoming event with an action that is really stupid, cruel, and immature (I don’t want to say exactly what it is, but I can say that the thought is about humiliating an important person). I try to let it go, but it keeps coming back. When I try to drop it, I hear a voice in my head that says, “If you don’t stop worrying about it, then you shows that you don’t care and that you want to happen.” Do you have some advice?

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  7. Carol Newlands  July 20, 2015

    Do not feed your feeds it will just grow. Fear will eat all your joy and happiness in your life. There are many kinds of fear such as fear of rejection, fear of being not good enough and even fear of animals, but all of this are just an imagination created by our playful mind. We think in advanced about things and that’s the reason why we are afraid to do such things. Fear is only temporary regret is forever!

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  8. Meha  July 21, 2015

    Hi Robert,

    Very thought provoking post, i stopped here when i was searching ways to simply put an end to my constant worry which rather had no true meaning. My mind is completely agreeing the ways you have suggested to come out of the state of fear. Hope I will improve.. thanks.

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  9. Yousuf Moin  December 11, 2015

    Mr. Robert

    Great post about to get rid of worries and fears. I heard a quote “All negative emotion originates from FEAR and all positive emotion originates from LOVE. ” So i googled it about the fear and your page is on the top. Really amazing! This is the complete tutorial and step by step guide. The key is that you already told ” Keep working and be patience”

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